Valentine’s Day is a day when many celebrate love. But what about those who suffer from heartbreak? For example, those who experience a breakup and feel that it is difficult for them to overcome the loss of their “orange half”. With thousands of hearts still adorning shop windows and restaurants and hundreds of online offers from the love weekIn this health blog post, we will talk about what a healthy duel looks like after the end of a relationship and what feelings we should keep at bay (because avoiding them is not always easy), according to several professionals in Mental Health of the health group Riverside
Phases of a broken heart
Sofia Carazo, psychiatrist at the Torrejón University Hospital, remembers that “a sentimental breakup means the loss of a bond, so getting over it involves a necessary mourning process.” And all the specialists attribute emotional grief to the same phases as grief for death:
- Shock, if the breakup is unexpected.
- Denial
- Fear and/or sadness
- Anger and/or anger
- Out of control, negotiation
- acceptance
They also explain that, as with the loss of a loved one, not all people go through each of these phases, neither in the same order nor with the same intensity.
Common feelings in a breakup
Emotions such as anger, anger, guilt, sadness, confusion, frustration, loneliness, disappointment, nostalgia or jealousy can be part of one of the phases of grief, accompanied, even, by physical symptoms such as tiredness, anxiety or a feeling of a knot in the stomach, lack of energy, insomnia and crying. They are not pleasant feelings or make us feel good, because we associate them with loss. However, professionals say that, even from their negative approach, they can help us overcome the breakup.
Marta Marcos, psychologist at the Vinalopó Department of Health, explains, for example, that “sometimes these emotions help us distance ourselves from our ex-partner, and this at the same time allows us to make changes for the better in our way of life”. In other words, he adds: “if we know how to manage it and not stay anchored in these emotions, they will propel us towards acceptance”.
She agrees with Ana Isabel Velasco, nurse at the Mental Health Hospitalization Unit of the Torrejón University Hospital. “These feelings are often necessary at a given moment for healthy mourning,” he explains, and warns that “sometimes, people tend to anesthetize feelings, avoiding experiencing emotions that are necessary,” asserts Velasco.
Thinking about revenge: yes or no
Marta Marcos, psychologist at the Department of Vinalopó, explains that the desire for revenge is generated from “the need to repair the harm that a person feels they have suffered”. Despite this, he categorically states that “it is not an appropriate strategy to move forward in the acceptance of the breakup and that, in addition, it will make it difficult to close the mourning process in a healthy way in relation to emotional losses”.
Ana Isabel Velasco, for her part, reflects on how a continuous desire for revenge “can encourage the appearance of emotional instability, based on loss of control and anger” and, in addition, pose a problem when it comes to redoing sentimental life “The desire for revenge indicates that anger has become a problematic emotion and that it may be necessary to resort to psychotherapy,” explains this inpatient Mental Health nurse.
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